A liquid fuel fired, internal combustion, surface crawling
Scientific Research Vessel
Available for hire anywhere on continental Americas.
Captain: Rebellious O'Megan One
First Officer: Rosco HedgePath
Life Support: RoofCactus
T.S. River Runner, hand propelled surface floater.
T.S. Cargo One, foot propelled surface crawler.
photographic film (35mm, 110m, and polaroid)
digital still cameras (saving CCT scans as 24-bit true-color JPEG)
digital video cameras (saving MPG)
audio (Cassette, micro-cassette,digital formats)
8mm video film
CB radio (monitor channel 19, capable from 1 through 23)
USPS (international postal service)
FedEx/UPS/DHL (commercial package delivery)
Additional data formats
JPEG GIF AU WAV text HTML, photographic paper, printed text,
original manuscripts, drawings and sculptures.
MPEG PNG PDF ASCII AVI WAV WMV DOC XLS ODF DEM
x-ray infrared ultraviolet visible, false color composites
radar sonar GPS, echo location maps
digital elevation maps
ISO 9660 CD-ROM (also RockRidge Extensions),
720 kilobyte / 1.44meg 3-1/2" MS-DOS floppy disk.
360 kilobyte / 1.2 megabyte 5-1/4" MS-DOS floppy
USB flash drive, e-mail, SATA, IDE, PATA, DVD-DL, Blu-Ray, YouTube, Fax,
Mission Name: Maiden Voyage
Time Period: 1987
Purpose: Commissioned in Phoenix Arizona as a replacement for
two vessels destroyed during on-going mission.
Completed original mission on return to Fort Lauderdale.
Travel Zone: Journeyed round-trip between Phoenix and Washington, D.C.
Research: Mapped Maricopa County, urban and wilderness regions.
Investigative reporting of U.S. covert involvement in
Central American Wars. Networking with refugee, human
rights and relief organizations.
Mission Name: SPeel
Time Period: 1987
Purpose: Escorting one passenger to San Francisco, California.
Purpose: Carrying cargo to Phoenix, Arizona.
Research: Strengthen existing grass-roots communications network.
Human intelligence data sources.
Travel Zone: From Washington D.C. to Phoenix Arizona.
(Dog Punker One joins crew)
Mission Name: GPG-TG
Purpose: Escorting passenger to unrelated private conference.
Research: Investigating (and confirming) righteousness of GreenPeace
cause, organization, and effectiveness.
Travel Zone: From Fort Lauderdale Florida to Hartford Connecticut,
Mission Name: Arig
Travel Zone: Sonoran Desert Run. Round-trip from Fort Lauderdale.
Purpose: Escort two passengers to religious graduation ceremony..
Research: Analysis of genetic mutation (evolution) of plant species
adapting to varying terrain and environmental features.
(Patti Pasculli joins crew)
Mission Name: NanBday
Travel Zone: Chihuahuan Desert Run. Round-trip from Fort Lauderdale.
Purpose: Escort three passengers to birthday party.
Research: Analysis of hydrological and geophysical differences between
several North American deserts.
(Velcro Elizabeth Marie Hannah Watley Jr. BlackFoot joins crew)
Mission Name: Splatt-Messing
Time Period: March to May 1997
Research: Continued in-depth observations of desert hydrology,
geophysical features, plant genetic morphology.
Purpose: Escort four passengers to wedding in Phoenix.
(Pookie Monster BlackFoot joins crew)
Mission Name: McMurray
Time Period: March to May 1998
Travel Zone: Eastern SeaBoard, coastal route from Florida to New Jersey.
Central Pennsylvania, Amish country. Pittsburgh, Allegheny
Mountains and River. Upstate New York to Canadian border.
Great Lake Onondonga and old Iroquois Nation lands. Syracuse,
Purpose: Escort four passengers to wedding ceremony.
Research: Documentation of technological and cultural diversity and
(Patti Pasculli relieved of duty, removed from crew roster.)
(Velcro resigns from crew, honorably discharged.)
Mission Name: MomBday
Time Period: 1999
Travel Zone: North America, coast-to-coast.
Research: Ground truthing internet-sourced satellite imagery.
Successfully confirmed validity of Soviet SPIN-2, plus
U.S. AVHRR, LandSat and GOES data.
Mission Name: SamGA
Time Period: 2000
Purpose: Escort inventory during business relocation.
Travel Zone: Centrals Florida and Georgia, top to bottom.
Research: Mapping of biosphere and watershed drainage basin.
Mission Name: Appalachia
Time Period: 2000
Purpose: Escort three passengers to unrelated family gathering.
Travel Zone: Eastern Continental Divide, Appalachian mountain route.
Washington/Baltimore urban area.
Research: Study of atmospheric hydrodynamics, biodiversity and
Mission Name: SkunkApe
Time Period: 1999 - 2009
Research: Exploration of EverGlades National Park, Big Cypress National
Photograph for taxonomical database.
Identify and document multiple species.
Travel Zone: Tamiami Trail, Alligator Alley, Loop Road, Snake Road
U.S. 27, US 441
Mission Name: Cypress
Time Period: 2000 - 2001
Research: Exploration of Cypress Creek drainage basin, mapping canoe
Travel Zone: Primarily Broward County Florida.
Mission Name: WellMan
Time Period: 2005 - 2010
Research: Exploration of Lake Osborne, Palm Beach Island, Lake Worth
Atlantic Coastal Ridge of Floridian peninsula.
Photograph and document wildlife diversity in urban environment.
Taxonomical inventory of WellMan Trail area.
Travel Zone: Primarily Palm Beach County Florida.
Mission Name: Loxahatchee
Time Period: 1997 - 2010
Travel Zone: Loxahatchee River drainage basin, North Palm Beach Island,
Lake Worth Lagoon, Atlantic Coastal Ridge of Floridian peninsula
Purpose: Transport and launch T.S. River Runner.
Transport and launch T.S. Cargo One
Photograph and document biodiversity in transitional land use
areas. Taxonomical data. Record visual atmospheric conditions.
Mission Name: LaBoda
Time Period: 2010 August
Travel Zone: Palm Beach County, Florida
Purpose: Transport cargo. Relocate research facility.
Establish permanent base.
Cargo: sensitive scientific equipment
telescope, microscope, assorted lenses and measures, PDAs, UPS and surge
protection wiring network.
site excavation equipment
various containers, storage units, shelving
desks and necessary furniture
data archives, including printed library of magazines and books
35mm film negative archives
film print archives
digital cameras, laptop computers, desktop computers,
external hard-drives, multi-function fax/scanner/copier/printer, monitors,
video game consoles, multiple terminals,
network routers, modems, cabling and ducting
musical equipment: piano, drums, harp, bellaphone, household stereo,
delicate artwork: paintings, photographs; clay, glass, wood and metal sculptures